I think that's .... MY DADDY !! Day 5 Zombie Lake Review

   Sorry, I know this is a bit of a switch up , I usually put my trailers at the tail end of my reviews. This , however , is a very special occasion. You need to have a feel for what exactly I am talking about in regards ZOMBIE LAKE a bizarre and dream like descent into zombie land Jean Rollins style. This is  one you will want to take notice of babies.

                            ZOMBIE LAKE has somewhat of a sordid little history to it , almost as sordid and ridiculous as the movie itself.  ZOMBIE LAKE was originally to be directed by trash film maven Jesus Franco from his own script. Before production became underway on the film he was let go and the reigns were then handed off the the king of french erotic surrealism , Jean Rollins. Rollin has stated in many interviews that he , " Regretted accepting the position as soon as I read the script ".  The film went on to become infamous among the Euro trash films of the 70/80's and is considered to be one of Jean Rollins worst films , one he now disowns. Not so fast Mr. Rollins. ZOMBIE LAKE is awful as far as the common standards of films are concerned , but it is Mr. Rollin's ability to create a dreamlike setting amongst all the chaos that saves this film from complete failure.

                                                                   ZOMBIE LAKE is the simple story of a man fighting the french for the German army during WWII. The Soldier falls in love with and quickly beds a french farm girl ( in one of the longest love scenes ever put on film ) and knocks her up. Soon after this encounter with the young woman the soldier flees the french countryside with his fellow soldiers only to return a year later and find out his love died during child birth. Shortly after this realization the German Soldier's group in ambushed by enemy forces and he and his men are all killed. Not knowing what to do with all the Nazi corpses on hand the french village people dispose of them in a nearby lake. Ten years later. The lake has now been coined " Lake Of The Dead " by the locals and the event that took place has become the stuff of hush hush tea gossip. When mutilated corpses of nubile young ladies begin showing up the townsfolk believe the lake is to blame and a young reporter shows up with plenty of questions of her own. From here on out , everytime a woman slips off her cloths and gets into the lake dead Nazi's arise from their watery abyss to get a peek at some hairy french snatch. Oh , and devour human flesh . The Nazi's are hellbent on destruction and chaos , all except for the sensitive German with the little girl. 

                                                   ZOMBIE LAKE is true blue Euro trash to the fullest , this is not the kind of film that can be recommended to fan's of Dario Argento , Lamberto Bava , or even Umberto Lenzi . No , no my friend ZOMBIE LAKE makes even the most bizarre and inept Argento , Bava , or Lenzi film look like Citizen Cane  , it is that ridiculous. The script , by Franco , keeps all his trademarks in tact we have LOADS of female flesh on display , some bright crimson blood , and a very disjointed story that includes extreme melodramatic moments worthy of a spot on Lifetime. But wait , instead of extreme Jess Franco style close up shots and disco dance numbers we get beautiful Jean Rollins scenery and silent calculated madness.  It is true that Rollins is known more for his visionary style then his knack for narrative focus here that trait becomes a godsend , Rollins is able to craft what could have been a very generic robotic bore into a hypnotic almost gothic nightmare of flesh and forbidden desires. Don't get me wrong babies , ZOMBIE LAKE is awful , very awful. Here is an example for you of exactly how bad it can be , for  instance the Lake itself is suppose to be a murky old swamp in the middle of nowhere but when shown underwater from the zombie perspective it is clear and clean and you can clearly see both a green tarp and the sides of a pool in the background. The acting is also so badly dubbed that it's almost impossible to tell if these people are giving genuine performances and by the exaggerated looks they have on their faces chances are they are not. Night changes to day without a moments notices and  zombies appear one way under water and another when out , one major no no after another. They didn't give a fuck. 

                                      Now For the good part . Tits and blood , of which ZOMBIE LAKE does offer in abundance. The women in this film are stunning Euro beauties who don't mind stripping at a moments notice bush and all for the world to see , and for that we thank them. The make - up effects are , oh my......... well ...... they have a mind of their own. Imagine if you can for a moment if your 10 year old son was given the opportunity  to play zombie in his Elementary school production of Night Of The living Dead and you will have a fairly good idea of what we have going on here. ZOMBIE LAKE not only has bad make - up to begin with but the F/X guys once again did not give a fuck . We get zombies with make - up everywhere but their hands and in the next scene on a close up those said hands will be smothered in green grease paint , mind altering badness at every turn.

                                                           ZOMBIE LAKE is an awful , terrible , bad, bad , boring movie; but it is OH SO GOOD. The artful direction by Jean Rollins gives the sleazy inept proceedings an almost dreamlike logic , a lyrical madness of insanity and mouth gaping bewilderment. A bad beautiful masterpiece of late 70's Euro cinema.

What Do you say , babies ?

Just Fucking Fabulous IT'S FUCKIN TECHNOIR BABY !!!!

                                                          Now I know this may come as a shock to your delicate little systems but Ms. Demonica  Vansant loves to party her tight little cooter off every chance she gets. And this little party promises to be one for the books my babies.

                TECHNOIR promises to be a shitload of electrifying fun that is sure to take over your entire body and cause either seizure or rapid dance movements. Either one could promise for a very interesting evening non the less , don't ya think ?  This is going to be a fucking blast and some of the footage included will be used in a film that is soon going to play at a real film festival ( Disney world a film by Michael Woods that was recently judged and selected for the New Jersey Film festival ) So you know I will be there track marks and all ready for my close up. Below you can find all the info I have copied directly from the facebook page. See you all there kittens.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TECHNOIR

​<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Vintage sounds rule the night<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>Hosted by.....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Kinky Kyro & TreyLaTrash<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>New Wave/Darkwave/Synth-Pop/Di​sco/Electro-Funk/Goth/Indu​strial<

This party is in collaboration with Disassociative Productions, an art collective in Brooklyn, New York. There will be a special viewing of Disney World, a short film by Michael Woods, which was recently judged and selected for the New Jersey Film Festival.

Ames' very own Stewardesses will be providing the experimental sound for the video. Come witness a live score to the movie. Video will be shown in the hideout.

http://www.facebook.com/pa​ges/Disassociative-Product​ions/215455551800638

How to dress.. think 80s goth at a party in 2030.

This is also Anna 'A to Z' Zaffarano's last stop on her birthday bar crawl, lets make sure she has a mess of fans to crawl to. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA BIG DEAL.

Kinky Kyro and Trey LaTrash are working on a commercial for Technoir, as they plan for it to be an on-going thing. This is going to be an audience participation (enslavement) where everyone takes phone videos that will later be edited together. Take whatever video you want, be creative. We know quality is an issue for some people, but thats ok, we want it all. There will be people walking around filming all night, and Cher Noble is in charge of 'encouraging' you to work (she WILL bring her flyswatter). We will try to collect anything we can from the audience that night, but will be hoping for some emails etc from people who have a random however many seconds of phone footage. Film each other filming! 

What do you sat there babies ? 

Sleaze For The Entire Family Part 1

               I don't have kids nor do I ever really want to have any around or near me unless it's at one of those cheap beauty pageants and the child is covered  in cheap rouge and pancake foundation. However, I do understand that many of you may love the little fuckers and  even want to spend time around them. I have compiled a list of films that will appeal to your sleaze and camp sensibilities without completely fucking up your children's fragile little minds. Enjoy.

Up first is the candy coated star studded delight that is " Mother Goose's Rocky N Rhyme ",  this is true camp entertainment at is most enjoyable and absurd. Rock N Rhyme tells a funky little tale indeed  "  All the Rhymies (the characters from Nursery Rhymes) are disappearing! Gordon Goose, son of Mother Goose, and Little Bo Peep set off across Rhymeland to find their missing friends. ". This film has more star studded cameos than you can shake a stick at. If the kids aren't around you could play a drinking game ; every time a celeb makes a cameo take a shot. You will be drunk in the first 5mins. Trust. Very fun , psychedelic made for t.v movie. They don't make em like this anymore my dears. HIGHLY recommended !


A Little Preview For You dears.

Next Up We have a delicious little slice of heaven I like to call The Purple People Eater: Movie. This insane film stars other then; Neil Patrick Harris , Ned Beatty , Thora Birch , Shelly Winters and Mother Fuckin Peggy Lipton in a co starring role.

This film is so childish and downright immature that it is almost borderline genius. The Songs are catchy , the creature is kinda cool in a 80's real f/x way, and all involved ham it up to the fullest. I say pop it in and let the good time roll. I mean what other movie can you see a cute cuddly creature ejaculating music notes out of it's phallic head as it stands next to Neil Patrick Harris ? NONE. 

lll

Onto the next .... and what sleaze list of any ilk would be complete if we didn't include the notorious baddie The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.  If you were even remotley coherent in the 80's you heard about The Garbage Pail Kids. 

 

  It is the movie that parents refused to take their children to see. The movie that the critics loved to hate. The movie that repulsed a nation. GPKM is considered by many to be the WORST movie ever made , it has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.com which means that no established critics film a positive review. Caryn James of  The New York Times said , " .... too repulsive for kids or adults of any age. ".  Despite a poor box office return at the time (  1,576.615 ) GPKM  found a new life on home video and has become the definition of a cult classic. The film is a tad on the gross side but almost nothing compared to modern television shows of the same breed. Ridiculous mindless escapism , with some funky 80's musical numbers to boot. LOVE IT !

Stay Tuned for part 2..... and remember if the kids can't sleep a little Bourbon  and  Ambien never hurt nobody.

What do you say , babies ?

FINALLY !!! Lucky Mckee's " The Woman" Finds a home.

 

Lcuky Mckee is one of the most interesting voices in modern horror, his films are original and pack enough visceral charged shocks to fill thirty big budget Hollywood films , and then some. Mckee has made a name for himself was such oddball character driven films such as ; May ( one of the best genre films of the past 20 years, no joke) ; The Woods ( a very underrated witchcraft film that has some funky lighting reminiscent of early Argento ) ; and Sick Girl ( a lesbian creature feature and in my opinion the best episode of Masters Of Horror).  Now Mr. Mckee has teamed up with horror author and fellow sicko Jack Ketchum to bring us The Women a direct sequel to his own novel/film The Offspring. Th new film has been getting some excellent reviews as well as stirring up a ton of controversy at many of the film festivals it has played earlier this year , so you know I'm game.  The Women has been picked up for US distribution by Bloody Disgusting Selects , no official release date has been selected as of yet but I will keep all of you freaks posted as soon as news arrives. Below you can take a gander at a man who seems to be VERY offended by the film as well as brief chat wit the director , and a plot synopsis. Enjoy !!

 " When a successful country lawyer captures and attempts to "civilize" the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades, he puts the lives of his family in jeopardy. "

This is what I sound like when my nerve pills run low.

Until next time dolls.

What do you think , babies ?

It's ALWAYS what you think it is. Day 4 PIECES review

               When I was 13 years old ( during the summer of '97) I spent almost every imaginable hour at my grandmother's house , which rested on a busy street  surrounded by trailer parks and failing businesses. It was a common practice for me to wake up at 9am everyday and rush up the street to the video store and spend countless hours poring over every single lurid tittle and sleazy big box I can find. It was upon one of these trips that I came upon the worn out visage of a film that would soon change my entire outlook on the horror genre as I knew it. That film was Juan Piquer Simon's Pieces a sleazy take on the chainsaw mythos that introduced an entire generation to the " sleaze slasher film " and outraged an entire nation of lesbians.....oh I mean feminists. While countless fans where salivating over the cool calculated scares of John Carpenters' Halloween ( way overrated in the eyes of yours truly ) I was jamming out to the sheer anarchy and misogynistic glory that was pieces.

       Pieces was originally given to director Juan Piquer Simon by producers Dick Randall and Steve Minasian and was intended to be a a two part television mini series. The producers offered Simon the scripts with the hopes that he could inject a bit of realism and urgency to the proceedings, " making it moderately believable". Well Mr. Simon failed this task just a tad and we are so damn thankful that he did. The film itself was co - written by none other then the maven of Spanish sleaze himself Joe D'Amato . And boasts a wide array of special effects that are exceptionally  bloody thanks to the use of a real pig carcass is a truly " stomach " churning evisceration scene.

           Pieces opens on the right note as  we are treated to a young boy putting together a jigsaw puzzle of a nude women as his mother walks in the room. The mother is not pleased at the sight of her son drooling over a naked women and proceeds to beat the shit out of him , ordering him to get a trash bag so they can clean his room of all the porn. The little boy obeys his mother and quietly walks out the room returning soon after with a big fucking ax which he uses to slash his bitch of a mother to pieces. Forty years later someone is reconstructing  the erotic puzzle with beautiful babes slashing each women  and using the limbs as piece is his gory little jigsaw puzzle. It is up to a tennis star undercover with the police , and a hard ass cop to track down the killer before it's too late.

                   What follows is a journey into sheer madness and insanity where scene after scene is filmed without any regard to to who it may offend and any sort of logic when it comes to the laws of common decency.In short , Pieces is a FUCKING blast !!! There are moments in this film that will leave you scratching your head and then staring in amazement at the sheer genius on display before you. Scenes unfold with no logic or reason or sense of time or place. One scene early on in the film has a young women laying on a blanket in broad daylight minding her own business reading a school book , suddenly a large man dressed in a parka pulls out a LARGE chainsaw and lops the women's head right off in a river of gore. No one notices for awhile. One of the more " truly " bizarre scenes has our protagonist wondering along the streets at night when he is suddenly attacked by a crazed " kung fu " master who's only explanation for the attack is  " bad chop suey". Duh, Gets me everytime . The school the film is set in seems to have everything ,  at one point it is revealed that a water bed has been installed in the gymnasium , to which a character replies " There's nothing like getting high and fucking on a water bed ". Did I mention Joe D'Amato co wrote this baby with Dick Randall ( producer of the classic Slaughter High)  , say what you will about these men but there is no denying they are artists.

                                  The gore itself is simply put , fucking fantastic it flows freely and has that Hershell Gordon Lewis tinge of dark crimson to it that gives the violence a cheap dirty feel. Arms are hacked off , a women has a knife thrust through her face , yet another women is dismembered in a bathroom , and a man has his penis ripped off through his pants. Good shit my babies , good shit.

                                Piece's does slow down a bit in it's second hlaf but is never boring thanks to some very fun and likable performances from such veterans as Christopher George , Lynda Day George , and the always phenomenal Edmund Purdom ( both Lynda and and Christopher would star next year in the equally bizarre and wonderful Mortuary ). Edmund Purdom being the stand out in the film his character The Dean is a cocky British aristocrat of sorts who wants the everything kept on the hush hush so as not to damage the reputation of his university.

         Pieces is , for me , a very important part in how my love of sleaze cinema developed. It is a merciless and  nasty descent into slasher territory that avoids all pretense and tension in favor of lavish gory set pieces, graphic nudity , and aerobics. Pieces is a film that demands to be seen and even if the second half does bog down just a little the extreme twist ending is guaranteed to make you forget any complaints you may have had and cherish the brilliance before you. It is that fucking good.

Until next time.......



      

Demonic Presents The Modular Home ( Trailer ) Park ....Volume 1.....

 

Hello my babies and Welcome to Demonica Presents The Modular Home ( Trailer ) Park. Below you will find regular updates on films that are either on the horizon or are out now that refuse to be ignored...... Enjoy and let ma'ma know if there is ANYTHING she can do to make you stay more pleasing , ANYTHING..

First Up is a nice little Promo Trailer for Matthew Reel's phenomenal looking film Jessicka Rabid due out this August from Troma ( who else ? ) .....  Here is a sample of the box are and the " modular" goodies.

              " There's Something Wrong With Jessicka "

 Next up we have a nice little slice of horror coming to us courtesy of Indonesia titled  " Darah " aka " Macabre" which has just been selected by Bloody Disgusting Selects  for international release and has been described as the Asian answer to "Inside " and " Martyrs ".   Below is some cool poster art from it's orginal release as well as the " modular ". Enjoy !

 
"Two newlyweds, along with 4 of their best friends, interrupt their travels to pick up a troubled girl on an abandoned stretch of roadway. When they return her to her ancestral home, the night turns into a crimson-hell for the 6 friends, who find themselves trapped and hunted down by Dara and her cult-like family of deadly protégés, born and raised to systematically eliminate unsuspecting passerby for one nefarious reason."


         Next up is the notorious shot on video classic " The Secret Life Of Jeffrey Dahmer " which is scheduled for a July 12th release..... This is really a slice of exploitation goodness that pissed off alot of victims families on its initial release two years before he was beaten to death in jail. Below you can check out some wicked DVD art and of course the " modular".

 "Based on the life of notorious serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, who murdered more than a dozen people, and ate many of them, before he was caught in 1991. "


  And finally my sick little fuckers we have a genuine gift from the gods The Camp Retro 80's Big Box VHS/DVD Set................ If you know me you know I have a deep love for shot on video 80's horror and this looks to be an amazing collection consisting of one never before seen 80's shot on video gem " The Basement" from writer director Timothy O 'Rawe ( of Ghoul School Fame) . Drool over some cool box/dvd art below as well as , of course , the " modular".

 " The Basement is the lost 1989 Super 8 anthology feature film directed by Timothy O’Rawe (Ghoul School). Restored by director of photography Michael Raso in 2010, The Basement is a shining example of ‘80s DIY cinema inspired by Amicus Films’ Tales from the Crypt and features elaborate special make-up and creature effects by Scott Hart.
The Basement is about four strangers who are summoned to the basement of an abandoned house by a mysterious entity known only as The Sentinel. One after another, they are forced to witness heinous deeds they have yet to commit – and which will damn them for all eternity. The four anthology-style stories in the film include:
“Swimming Pool” – An unfaithful woman disposes of the evidence with a little help from a demonic water spirit.
“Trick or Treat” – Classic monsters exact revenge on a bitter man who refuses to honor Halloween.
“Zombie Movie” – Cocaine, hookers and reanimated corpses wreak havoc on the set of an independent film.
“Home Sweet Home” – A young man questions his sanity after purchasing a house where torture and mass murder were committed 6 years before.
About Captives:
Referred to as “the most accomplished SOV horror film from this era”, Captives is the sophomore effort of director Gary Cohen (Video Violence 1&2) and is now available for the first time in this director-approved version. The film is about a woman who fights back to save her baby and mother-in-law’s lives after being taken hostage by three violently deranged criminals.
Video Violence Synopsis:
In this gore-soaked cult classic, a young couple opens a video store in a small town populated by violence-addicted amateur filmmakers, lead by the demented Howard and Eli.
Video Violence 2 Synopsis:
The sequel to Video Violence finds Howard and Eli pirating a cable TV channel for the purpose of furthering their brand of homegrown depravity, madness and murder.
Cannibal Campout Synopsis:
Deranged orphans torture, mutilate and murder innocent campers in this DIY classic from Jon McBride. "


Well I need to go home now and double click the mouse , if ya catch my drift , till next time freaks and sluts and of course.......

What do you think , babies ?