I don't have kids nor do I ever really want to have any around or near me unless it's at one of those cheap beauty pageants and the child is covered in cheap rouge and pancake foundation. However, I do understand that many of you may love the little fuckers and even want to spend time around them. I have compiled a list of films that will appeal to your sleaze and camp sensibilities without completely fucking up your children's fragile little minds. Enjoy.
A Little Preview For You dears.
Next Up We have a delicious little slice of heaven I like to call The Purple People Eater: Movie. This insane film stars other then; Neil Patrick Harris , Ned Beatty , Thora Birch , Shelly Winters and Mother Fuckin Peggy Lipton in a co starring role.
This film is so childish and downright immature that it is almost borderline genius. The Songs are catchy , the creature is kinda cool in a 80's real f/x way, and all involved ham it up to the fullest. I say pop it in and let the good time roll. I mean what other movie can you see a cute cuddly creature ejaculating music notes out of it's phallic head as it stands next to Neil Patrick Harris ? NONE.
Onto the next .... and what sleaze list of any ilk would be complete if we didn't include the notorious baddie The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. If you were even remotley coherent in the 80's you heard about The Garbage Pail Kids.
It is the movie that parents refused to take their children to see. The movie that the critics loved to hate. The movie that repulsed a nation. GPKM is considered by many to be the WORST movie ever made , it has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.com which means that no established critics film a positive review. Caryn James of The New York Times said , " .... too repulsive for kids or adults of any age. ". Despite a poor box office return at the time ( 1,576.615 ) GPKM found a new life on home video and has become the definition of a cult classic. The film is a tad on the gross side but almost nothing compared to modern television shows of the same breed. Ridiculous mindless escapism , with some funky 80's musical numbers to boot. LOVE IT !
Stay Tuned for part 2..... and remember if the kids can't sleep a little Bourbon and Ambien never hurt nobody.
What do you say , babies ?